I'm lonely with so few comments lately. Not sure why considering I write this for myself but its nice to know people are out there. Of course, I see people looking at the site (I track it with Google Analytics)
Anyway, I had a bit of an episode the other day. I forgot to take my medication until very late two days in a row. That is extremely odd for me. The first day seemed like no big deal. I just took it at like 6PM (instead of my usualy 8AM) and went on about my business. The next day wasn't so easy. I remembered at 4PM and took it then. This got me. I immediately started feeling like my head was throbbing while walking up the stairs to my office. Not a good time.
I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen. Maybe I thought I was going to have a heart attack...or maybe
I was just walking up a flight of stairs. Either way, it scared me. Its the first time that's happened in a while. I've been so pre-occupied with everything else I haven't had time to worry about whether my wrist was throbbing too much or if that spot on my lip was cancer or some cereal from breakfast. Idle minds are the hypochondriacs workshop.
On the other front, things are going well. I've moved in to an apartment (the room mate moves in tomorrow) and got some furniture delivered. Its starting to feel like home. Of course, my car started to feel like home.
Maybe I have a distorted sense of home...
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5 comments:
It should be stated that you hardly ever leave me comments, so this means that I'm guilting you into leaving ME comments. Quid pro quo, Clarice. Quid pro quo.
I've been quiet lately, b/c your blog is incredibly difficult to respond to sometimes. It's such a delicate thing...seperations and divorce. Part of me completely understands, and the other part of me wants to yell, "NO! Stop! She's trying!" But mostly, I just don't know what to say.
I will say this however...I have on more than one ocassion been physically pained by your situation, and have prayed/hoped you all find what you are looking for.
How's that for a comment? :)
Glad to have you back in the hypo world—sorry for the bad wishes, but misery loves company—thought we lost you there for a while…
And, congrats on the apartment. How’s the Audi treating you?
I honestly have to say that I can't stop reading your blog - it's like tuning into my favorite show or something. LOL Also, I haven't been able to sign in for quite some time - and I hate leaving anonymous comments.
On the more serious side, I have to say that it really is hard to post a comment sometimes. I feel your pain and sometimes that of your wife. Either way, I'm rootin' for ya. You'll get through this.
justanut
I too read your blog and don't comment cuz I don't know what to say, I have done what you are doing, I am the one who left, a long time ago. I have been with someone else much better suited to me for the past 13 years, but it still is hard to think about what went wrong the first time and about the other people who were hurt in the process.(two kids, each other's parents, nieces and nephews, the list goes on.) It is very sad. Almost as sad as not leaving when you knew you should have. Hang in there..........
I also am reading... have wanted to comment but felt stupid just sending a cyberhug. I'm with you though and wish you support as you go through this. Your blog has made me think very existentially about my own life and relationships... thank you for baring your soul so that we can look inside our own selves with questions and not feel alone.
I disagree with one comment - that your wife is trying so mebbe you should try again.
I think that if you are feeling one way, you cannot deny those feelings and be honest to yourself at the same time. You can try to talk yourself out of feelings but they will be there whether they are welcome or not. The best thing to do is identify our feelings and, even if they hurt others, try to be at truth and peace with our own selves.
Anyway... thx for your blog... :) it *is* greatly appreciated. Don't worry, you are not typing in the wind.
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