The Lull

I've read that being a hypochondriac is cyclical. Apparently (and this is exactly how it happens to me) you'll have periods of time where there's no worries (or at least they're bearable, punctuated with fits of 'oh my god I have myospondocardiohypoglycidextrtosis of the uvula'.

This is definately how it works for me. However, its never really gone. Its always there in the background 'forcing' me to do stupid things like checking to make sure I have a pulse (as if I could check it if I *didn't*), evaluate any physical sensation in the context of one of the big three.

"Was that twinge from the 3 hours I spent on a bike yesterday or spontaneously developing ALS?"

Right now, I'm in a lull. Which is good. These are the times where I can see how nuts I can be and wonder how I can ever get this way. Usually these times are mediated by the Zoloft (or some other type of SSRI) but eventually I'll even stop that and I'll be fine for a while. The therapist seems to think this is caused by the fact that during the 'good' times I'm sort of repressing the anxiety until I can't any more and then I have the 'bad' times where I get it all out.

This is the point of the meditation. To sort of acknowledge the stress as it occurs, deal with it then, and then hopefully 'pop off a clip in its punk ass'.

Metaphysically speaking, of course...