So I went in to talk about the zoloft. After some discussion about it and about some other questions I had he asked me if I had had the Berkeley test. Now the last time I went in I had some high-end whoopass cholesterol test that came back with like 4 pages of badness. All kinds of words like "high risk" and "syndrome X" (which sounds like an excellent band name) and various other bad news.
At the time, this was 'da bomb'. This was May. So now I go in and he has this other test called the Berkeley Heart Lab Cardiac Risk Assesment. I swear to you in the hour that I was there I heard him, the nurse, and the nurse practitioner talk about this thing to no fewer than 4 people. While I was waiting he was giving results to one person and they were ordering it on 2 others. There were boxes stacked up in the x-ray room from this place with, I'm sure, brochures and ordering materials.
I swear while he was telling me about it he had this look in his eyes like he was describing a '68 Corvette. Apparently this thing can tell you what kind of diet you should follow, whether you should drink alcohol, what color underwear you should wear, if you should use styling gel or wax and what ratio of stocks to bonds to put in your portfolio.
Just what I need. Definitive proof something is wrong.
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There is no way in Hell you'd get me to take one of those. Seriously. A full listing of what COULD be wrong with me? Heh. No sireee. No way, no how. :)
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