You think you know someone...

I've learned a lot the last few days about how we see each other. Mostly, about how we misperceive each other based on what we "know" and what we think we know. This can be as simple as a friend that turns into something much more, a spouse that turns into something much less, or a friend that sees you in a much different way than you thought they did.

The funny thing about human nature is that just when we think we've pegged each other, we change. Its like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (except without all the math). The uncertainty principle basically states that you can't accurately test both the position and momentum (or speed, etc.) of a body without affecting one of them. In other words, the more know, the less you know...

Once you truly think you know a person, and you apply that knowledge, the person forever changes in a way that invalidates what you knew. At least, your perception of them does. The fact is, you never really knew them, just how they reacted to you in the situations you'd always been in.

I thought I knew my wife. It turns out I didn't. At least, I don't. Maybe I changed her, maybe she was never who I thought she was. Whatever the case, she's a stranger now. That hurts a bit. Obviously I brought about the change in 'state' by leaving, but she's chosen her direction.

From this point on, its uncharted territory. I have to make lots of choices and go through trials I never thought I'd had to. All based on the wants and needs of a person I no longer know. Scary.