I've been taking this vitamin B called Niaspan now for about a year. You might recall I started taking this after my doctor got all nerdy on me with this cholesterol test. Apparently the stellar (my new favorite word) numbers I'd been putting up on my cholesterol test weren't good enough. It didn't matter that my total cholesterol was measured in decimals and my LDLs were now so low it was measured in molar units. You might also recall that this has some "interesting" side-effects. Namely wailing, the gnashing of teeth, and locust. But, I digress...
So last night I take my wonder drug, drink a glass of water and lay down. It feels like this pill (which is the size of a large frog) is stuck in my "stomach tube" about 3/4 of the way down. I assume at some point it will just go on. When I wake up in the morning I feel that its still there. This freaks me out on many levels. The primary one being that maybe I have stomach cancer and its a blockage. The second, what if this pill ate through my esophagus during the evening and I die of sepsis by lunch? Since I'm writing this, that didn't happen. I'll let you know about the cancer later.
After much ado about (supposedly) nothing I make my way to the gym and decide to sit in the sauna. The sauna has always freaked me out because of those warning signs about "Heart Conditions, Pregnancy, and High Blood Pressure" they always hang on the wall. Odds are I'm not pregnant but still...its frightening!
All of this leads to one shining moment in hypochondria. As I get in the sauna I start thinking that what if the pill just now went down and I have the hot flash. The hot flash causes my blood pressure to drop (as does the sauna) and I pass out in the sauna and die of heat stroke.
Ta daaaaa!!!!!! What can I say, it a gift.
So last night I take my wonder drug, drink a glass of water and lay down. It feels like this pill (which is the size of a large frog) is stuck in my "stomach tube" about 3/4 of the way down. I assume at some point it will just go on. When I wake up in the morning I feel that its still there. This freaks me out on many levels. The primary one being that maybe I have stomach cancer and its a blockage. The second, what if this pill ate through my esophagus during the evening and I die of sepsis by lunch? Since I'm writing this, that didn't happen. I'll let you know about the cancer later.
After much ado about (supposedly) nothing I make my way to the gym and decide to sit in the sauna. The sauna has always freaked me out because of those warning signs about "Heart Conditions, Pregnancy, and High Blood Pressure" they always hang on the wall. Odds are I'm not pregnant but still...its frightening!
All of this leads to one shining moment in hypochondria. As I get in the sauna I start thinking that what if the pill just now went down and I have the hot flash. The hot flash causes my blood pressure to drop (as does the sauna) and I pass out in the sauna and die of heat stroke.
Ta daaaaa!!!!!! What can I say, it a gift.
8 comments:
Bravo, encore, encore!!! :)
You're so gifted...you may actually have something. Have you ever been tested for MVP? (By a heart dr. not your average Joe.) I recently was and one of the bizarre questions they asked was "Does it ever feel like food gets stuck in your throat or esophagus when you eat?" Well yeah...but I thought that was just me being a FREAK, as usual. As it turns out, it's one of the symptoms of MVP Syndrome... (as are heart palpitations, panic attacks, and PMS. Of course, if you're pregnant, you probably don't have PMS right now. ;p)
I think I took one of those home tests for that. MVP, not pregnancy.
Hey wait, I have MVP. PMS can be associated with it?
Wow! Ya' know you're a true hypochondriac when you don't need "MVP" spelled out for you and know the date you've last been tested!
I think anyone who ends up in an emergency room, due to a panic attack, automatically gets tested for MVP and Thyroid problems. No?
uplasty...why yes. There's a whole slew of freaky unrelated symptoms. Not really caused by MVP, but associated with it. I've had them my whole life. I've had stress test and an EKG before ("You have a funny little down blip, but that's nothing") and wasn't until I went to the heart clinic that they diagnosed MVP (and associated syndrome). So all those times I've been to the dentist without meds...I feel faint just thinking about it. ;p
glad you got checked eventually. I hate that though -- something shows up on an EKG and they're like oh, don't worry about it. Don't worry??
After this post I went online and read about it. The internet is great, now supposedly my cold hands/feet make sense. And here I thought it was just because I had a warm heart. :)
Hey-all you hypoc's. Be vigilant but not paranoid. I was a hypochondriac for 40 years and then they found IT. I had it for ten years and knew it long before the drs. Listen to your body without being paranoid about it.
Still, it could be argued that I stressed myself into disease.
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