Saunas and Showers and Vitamins Oh My!

I've been taking this vitamin B called Niaspan now for about a year. You might recall I started taking this after my doctor got all nerdy on me with this cholesterol test. Apparently the stellar (my new favorite word) numbers I'd been putting up on my cholesterol test weren't good enough. It didn't matter that my total cholesterol was measured in decimals and my LDLs were now so low it was measured in molar units. You might also recall that this has some "interesting" side-effects. Namely wailing, the gnashing of teeth, and locust. But, I digress...



So last night I take my wonder drug, drink a glass of water and lay down. It feels like this pill (which is the size of a large frog) is stuck in my "stomach tube" about 3/4 of the way down. I assume at some point it will just go on. When I wake up in the morning I feel that its still there. This freaks me out on many levels. The primary one being that maybe I have stomach cancer and its a blockage. The second, what if this pill ate through my esophagus during the evening and I die of sepsis by lunch? Since I'm writing this, that didn't happen. I'll let you know about the cancer later.



After much ado about (supposedly) nothing I make my way to the gym and decide to sit in the sauna. The sauna has always freaked me out because of those warning signs about "Heart Conditions, Pregnancy, and High Blood Pressure" they always hang on the wall. Odds are I'm not pregnant but still...its frightening!



All of this leads to one shining moment in hypochondria. As I get in the sauna I start thinking that what if the pill just now went down and I have the hot flash. The hot flash causes my blood pressure to drop (as does the sauna) and I pass out in the sauna and die of heat stroke.



Ta daaaaa!!!!!! What can I say, it a gift.

But, I digress

Nothing much to discuss therefore, no posts. I'm afraid of becoming one of those rambling bloggers that, in order to have "new content" consistently posts random thoughts. Hmm, maybe its too late.

I came, I competed, I crashed

This weekend was 'interesting' to say the least. I had a weekend of bike races which I've been looking forward to for quite some time. I have new wheels and gears and whatnot and this was the first time I'd used them in an actual race. There were three events. Friday was a sprint, Saturday a "criterium" (which is like NASCAR on bikes), and Sunday a road race (think Tour de France). Here's how my weekend ended up.

• Friday. I spent 2 hours warming up for a 51 second ride in which I came in last place.
• Saturday. I ended up lining up at the back of the pack (my fault and a rookie mistake) and got dropped before the race even started. I spent the next 20 minutes trying to catch back up. I rode so hard I think my teeth were sweating. I finally gave up half way through to save up for the race on Sunday.
• Sunday. I'm in a category for novice racers because, frankly, I'm a novice racer. However, there are apparently different categories of novice. I'm a decent rider. I hold my line, don't slam on my brakes without warning, and am generally courteous (in the confines of a race, that is). Turns out, the others weren't. I ended up wrecking 10 miles into the race. Not permanent damage and nothing broken. My bike suffered the brunt of the assault and those new wheels and whatnot? Not so good.

Throw on top of that an interesting little sort of panic attack that came out of nowhere, riding 10 miles by yourself on a busted up bike with blood streaming down various parts of your body, and you've got a great weekend.



My 'happy pills' just went generic and this is the first batch. Maybe that had something to do with it. I just didn't feel...right...all weekend. Who knows. I wouldn't call it a setback but then again, I wasn't "my best self".

Alanis would be proud

I just had to post this here because I got such a chuckle. On my way in to the office this morning a 'gentleman' in an SUV was honking at an older guy in the car in front of him while he was trying to decide to go straight or right at a green light. The SUV the speeds around him on the right in a lane meant for parking cars, the dives back left and cuts the guy off only to be caught at the next light.



The best part is that there was a bumper sticker on his window that said:

God bless everyone.

No exceptions.

Oh, the irony...

Some of my best friends...

I usually leave political commentary to the...political commentators. But I can't pass this one up. I realize that I'm running the risk of being 'labeled' by even saying anything so I will attempt to choose my words wisely. Hopefully, I won't be suspended and fired for saying what I think.

Of course, I'm talking about Don Imus. Let me first say that I've never actually heard Don Imus talk. My only impression of him is from that Howard Stern movie where he was a complete ass. Apparently that was an accurate impression, but that's neither here nor there.

Don Imus called the Rutgers women "nappy-headed ho's". I have no idea of the context. I'm assuming it wasn't something like "Those nappy-headed ho's should be placed in chains and forced to work in cotton fields." Most likely it was in the context of "those nappy-headed ho's could shoot free-throws if their ass was on fire and the bucket of water was in the hoop."

I myself have said the following things about various professional and amateur athletes of all races and genders:

"You suck"
"I hate you"
"You bastards"
"You're a moron"

And at least 19 expletives, derogatory, and sometimes sexual remarks about their mothers, fathers, sisters, wives, and dogs.

Do I actually want to perform these acts? No. Do I really think they're morons or illegitimate children? No. OK, so we've decided that my intent wasn't to perform lewd acts on the relatives of the players.

So lets assume for a moment that Imus' intent was not to make racially disparaging remarks about black women in general and the Rutgers players in particular. Lets assume that he was doing his job, being a shock jock. Was what he said inconsiderate? Yes. Was it over the top? No. Was it out of character for his show? No. Was it out of character for any other show like his (hosted by a black or white person)? No.

OK, so, I've postulated that his intent wasn't to denigrate all blacks, and that his comments, while inconsiderate, were not beyond out of the norm for him or others in his genre of radio. So what's my point?

My point is that what he said was stupid, sure. He apologized. He's been on every national show and issue more Mea Culpas than a whore in church (pardon the phrase). Let it go. Move on.

The problem here is the media, which in my mind includes the Today shows, Al Sharpton, BET, talk radio, et. al. have whipped this into a national frenzy and created news where there was none. Its a case of casting the first stone. A cursory Google search for 'racist remarks' returns a brazillion (that's a number) of hits many of which include some of our favorite 'civil rights leaders':

"If the Jews want to get it on," he said, "tell them to pin their yarmulkes back and come over to my house." - Al Sharpton

'Hymies.' 'Hymietown.' -- Jesse Jackson's description of New York City while on the 1984 presidential campaign trail.

White folks were in caves while we were building empires.... We taught philosophy astrology, and mathematics before Socrates and those Greek homos.

So, there, I said it. Don Imus should not be fired. He should be embarrassed and humiliated (which he's said he is) and he should be reprimanded and sent home to think about what he did (and he has). And that should be that.

Saber-rattling aside this is a man being made an example. Maybe one needs to be made. But in either case that is all this is, a man being made an example by parties who feel then need to make an example of someone and have yet to find a candidate that will stick.

Don Imus is an old man at the twilight of his career. He's the weak one in the herd. He will suffer the same fate as Jimmy the Greek and Rush Limbaugh (in sports, that is). He will pay dearly for saying something, although stupid, in public that a certain, however small, portion of the public were offended by.

Sad thing is, that's what America's all about. Saying things people don't like. I'm all for it if the individuals themselves boycott the show and its advertisers. Kudos, then, to the American system of free will and capitalism. But what we're seeing is first rate Socialism. The idea that the few know what's best for the many and, if you don't believe them, just ask.

Whew. I said it. I will try not to do that again. For those of you who came here for the hypochondria stuff, my back was hurting last night and I spent 10 minutes ruling out an Aortic Aneurysm and Angina. So, enjoy!

Dave v1.1 Beta (Codename Psycho)

I seem to be a new person. Here is a list of things that, heretofore, freaked me out:

• Blood Pressure
• The doctor's office
• Airplanes
• Ants
• Being Alone
• Dying of a heart attack while:
• the shower
• the toilet
• my medication
• Scary movies with creepy kids

Lately, with the exception of the last one which, I have to say, should be made illegal, I've been flaunting the rest of the rules with abandon. I haven't checked my blood pressure since I left the house. I worry about being bitten by ants but only when I see them. I like being alone and I rarely freak out thinking I'll pass out from the hot water in the shower (the sauna and jacuzzi still get me).



Traveling has been fun. And, amazingly, I've been pushing the boundaries of not taking my meds on what seems like a regular basis. This is truly something new.



I will say that last night while I was picking up a prescription at the drug store that I had a little freak out moment when I almost sat down at one of those BP machines. I had to walk to the other side of the store and read the porn...er...men's magazines until my prescription was ready...



That is why I titled this post Dave v1.1 Beta instead of v2.0... I'm not a full release better just a more advanced version. Maybe I'll have bugs...or features, if you will, that I'll have to work through. Who knows. Either way, its a step in the right direction.

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Eh....

I haven't written anything in a while. Not certain why. I had an interesting conversation yesterday that had me doing some thinking. I was asked what I thought of marriage vows now. Here's my response:

"as a promise. one that might implicitly be broken forcing the other to 'explicitly' break it...i don't believe its some magical words that should never be undone no matter what. its not a magical incantation"

It seems like a cop-out when I read it again. Its like saying it was her fault I left. Its the 'devil made me do it' defense. I'm not a fan of that. That comment lead to this comment (I'm in blue):

I'm just wrestling with how easily people divorce these days...you know?

that's a misconception

it's like, why get married if there is even the option to divorce?

marriage is incredibly easy. buy a $10 license and find a JOP

divorce (at least here) takes at least a year, lawyers, crying, disappointment, arguments, disdain from friends and loved ones, and metric shit tons of guilt that will most likely last longer than the marriage has

Maybe for some people its easy to divorce. You see it all the time in the news. Somebody has a baby, gets married, then splits up 6 months later because...who knows why. I think for the common person divorce is extremely difficult and not a decision taken lightly. The only thing 'easy' about divorce, at least for me, is knowing that I made a choice to be happy.



Currently it seems like a zero-sum game, though. My happiness equals someone else's unhappiness.

I like to think that at some point that will change and we'll both be happy. I also like to think I'm 6'2" with blond hair and blue eyes...



Sorry for the incoherence of this post. Too much wine and not enough sleep will do that to you.