It felt like everything was in control at the time I made the choices so why does it feel so out of control now?Preach it sister. I think its human nature to question major life decisions. Its like buyer's remorse. How many times have you bought that new super sweet 17" Apple MacBook Pro with the 2.33GHz Intel Core 2 Duo, 4G of RAM, 160G hard drive...uh where was I?
Oh yeah. How many times have you made a large purchase or decision and been impossibly excited about the whole situation only, some hours later, to feel like you just made the decision to not pay for your Grandma's operation? I'm big into buyers remorse. I get so much guilt after buying things, anything, that I should be Jewish. (That in know way was meant to be derogatory. Some of my best friends...you know the rest).
Anyway, after leaving the wife I had the same sort of problem. But I got over it. I'm still racked with guilt on occasion. I still see the hurt in my wife's eyes. See how she does everything she can to hurt me in repayment. See how my son knows something isn't right but doesn't have the words to express it or the comprehension to know it will all get better.
Life is a series of boring moments punctuated by life-altering earth-shattering moments. I guess that was the point of that previous post. We never know what our choices mean in the long run. We never know how things will really turn out.
Its a blessing and a curse. Imagine if we did know just how bad it was going to be. Nothing would ever get done. And, most likely, no one would ever be happy.
3 comments:
Funny...I've never regretted the $1500 laptop or the $3K trip to Disney. Now the $30 marriage license... I'm pretty sure I got a better return on the $250 divorce.
So what is the deal with the guilt thing anyway?? I let him off the hook for child support and he has vanished...gone..poof...finito... out of our lives. And I'm still feeling guilty about divorce.
Guilt's probably universally applied at a cosmic level -- doled out to all divorcees, soldiers, Jews, and people who steal their office supplies.
Being is unbearably light since we can’t know with any certainty the consequences of our actions, and we are given only one life to take action in.
Have you read or seen Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being?
BTW, your earlier comment about the characters on Days of Our Lives and their relationship to church is hysterical!
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