My "friend" and I seem to have a hard time understanding each other sometimes. Nothing major. Most of it I think is based on what we believe the other person is thinking or feeling, not what's actually being said.
For most of my marriage I spent all my time trying to stay out of trouble. I tried to bend over backwards to keep the peace so that I wouldn't have to catch any crap. This was based more on what I 'knew' she was thinking than what she said outwardly.
Eventually, this got tiresome. I no longer have the ability to deal with that sort of thing. I've found myself, on occasion, getting very frustrated with this 'friend' because it seems like I'm always having to defend my emotions. She's constantly asking if I'm OK, or if something's wrong, or if she's offended me in some way. In and of itself, that's not a bad thing. I think she's genuinely concerned about my well-being. That's nice.
But at some point I think we all want to be understood. To have someone just 'know' how you're feeling without having to ask. Its obvious that we've only been together a very short time so we'd have no way of reading each other's mind. In fact, I spent the last 15 years reading a mind and, today, I understand it less than I did when we started.
This time around I'm trying to be direct. I'm trying to make my feelings obvious. I'm tired of waiting for someone to read my mind. Even worse, I'm tired of someone reading my mind and being wrong.
Speaking of mind reading, I know you're all thinking "where the hell is this going". Unfortunately, the answer is "nowhere".
P.S. If you write to me and send a self-addressed stamped envelope, I will send you back the 2 minutes of your life it took to read the above post.
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3 comments:
You know...it's not such a bad idea to expand the theme of your blog. You wouldn't feel limited to just writing about your hypo-ness. Plus, since you are talented and humourous...it wouldn't be that hard to find topics to run with.
Think on it.
Wow Amazing Dave, what a deal! I’ll be sure to get my self-addressed, stamped envelope in the mail Tooo-night!
I’m certainly no relationship guru, but in my experience, when one partner feels the need to continuously ask if something's wrong…there frequently is. I’ve been on both the giving and receiving ends of that one.
Disclaimer: I’m pretty sure the above theory does not apply to one’s self in the case of illness.
Seriously Dave, where's that address? My life is short enough as it is.
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