7 posts in 7 days

Yeah, I said it. I said it. I stole your momma's credit... Well, actually, I stole her identity when she was shopping at the TJ Maxx for some of those knock-off UGG boots she saw on an episode of "Newlyweds" but didn't realize that that was from like 2003 and those were so far outa style they were almost back in...whew.

So, as I was saying. 7 posts in 7 days. I've been told I should post more. I'm sure I should but mostly I can't think of anything interesting. Here's something. My civil separation is turning into a nightmare. I'm not surprised at all by what my soon-to-be-ex has been doing. Its always been in her nature to be spiteful and somewhat self-centered. of course, I'm somewhat self-centered (but never spiteful)...(ok, almost never spiteful).

I expected that, as adults, we could be intelligent about the situation. I was also wrong. At least, I was wrong about her. I don't think she's doing these things out of conscious spite, but more out of lashing out in any way she can. It seems she thinks she can either hurt me or bring me back by making me miss my son and by being broke.

Its sad, really, because it shows the complete lack of understanding of what makes me tick that ultimately drove us apart. If she really knew me, she'd know that I only worked to make sure we never wanted for anything and to accomplish career goals. None of which were to make more money.

I obviously share some burden here. I left. I left quickly. This was all apparently a shock to her and she's still reeling from it. Maybe she'll realize how she's treating me and my son some day. Maybe she never will. Many of my friends have told me that I should play the same games. That I could take my son and just not return him one day. That I could empty a bank account and not pay her alimony to 'show her' what it was really like to be alone.

I'm not that guy. I can't be that guy. Every morning I have to look at myself in the mirror and think "damn, you are fine!". And then, once I flex both my biceps and kiss them, a la Randy Savage, I have to look into my own eyes and decide if I'm a positive or negative force in the world. I want to be positive.

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) 'Prejudices: Fourth Series,' 1924