Allow me to make a list of all the things than ran through my head this weekend during my trip to the mountains. Lets remember, this is a house with running water, electricity, an electric gate (with remote control) satelite TV and cell service.
1. I wonder if there are fire ants (I actually started thinking this about a month ago)
2. What if I need an ambulance? it might take an hour to get here.
3. How would I call said ambulance if my cell phone doesn't work?
4. I wonder if I'm allergic to anything else up here?
5. What if it takes more than 2 epi-pens to stop whatever reaction I have should I be bitten by something from question 4?
6. Do any of the people I'm with know CPR?
7. How will I know if my blood pressure is high?
8. I'm dizzy maybe its low blood pressure (this was after a night of drinking then rising at 5AM to pee. I imagine this was actually caused by still being drunk)
9. Is that a fire ant?
10. Repeat thought 9.
11. Repeat thought 10.
12. Repeat thought 2 and 3 because of thoughts 9-11.
And there you have it. A "relaxing" weekend in the boonies hypochondria style.
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5 comments:
Hilarious! When I get dragged out of the house once a week to “hike,” it’s all I can do to keep from hyperventilating by the time we get there for reasons 2, 3 and 4 (among others, like not being near a sanitary bathroom). Somewhat sad, considering our hiking spot is only 30 minutes from the house and 15 minutes from a hospital. I won’t even say what goes through my mind once we’re two miles out on the trail.
2 miles? Psh, I usually get nervous on the drive there ;-)
I am so glad to know I'm not alone! My father-in-law is very ill and will not be recovering from his illness. My hubby does not want to travel out of the country without me and our two children. Instead of wanting to support him, all I can think of is what if I have a heart attack or stroke over there (a remote province in the Philippines). There aren't ambulances there. What would happen to my children? Will flying international cause my BP to go up again? What if, what if, what if....Ah - the life of a hypochondriac! (AKA Health Anxiety)
Therin lies the problem "what if?". I think hypochondriasis should be re-labled "what-if-atosis". THis is essentially how I stop myself from going into full panic mode. I don't allow myself the what if any more. Obviously (from this post) it happens but the trick is to move on to something else. Using distraction or meditation or some method to short circuit the what if cycle and move on to a different set of thoughts.
LOL. Dave, you're brilliant.
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