Get up git git git down 9/11 scared the crap out of me

Hypochondria is a disease of selfishness. Its all about me. How do I feel today? I'm sick. I need to see a doctor. Are my lymph nodes swolen? Is that mole on my back cancer? I've found it interesting that I manage to turn any event even remotely medically related into a personal strife.

I submit to you as exhibit A, how I handled 9/11 and the anthrax scare of 2001. You might ask "what could this possibly have to do with you, who lives at least 1000 miles away from said carnage?" To you I'd say "shush, I'm talking about me"

The day the planes hit the World Trade Center I was on my way to get blood work done (imagine that). This should have been the test that told me I needed cholesterol drugs. Instead, I couldn't find the lab so I went to work (I wasnt' able to avoid those pesky drugs, though). By the time I got there, the first plane had hit and the second was on its way. I panicked. I work on the 6th floor in the tallest building downtown (24 stories). In my mind, this meant I was next. I concoted some story about needing to go home and wait for relatives to call. I went home and watched CNN and Fox News for the next 6 months.

In the coming days I got increasingly worried that we'd be attacked. The slightest vibration would practically send me flying under my desk (somehow this seemed safer even though, technically, it'd be closer to the explosion). I'd find ways to come in late so that I wouldn't be there at "the best time" for the terrorists to attack. All U-haul, Ryder, Fed-Ex, UPS, ice cream, mail, and pickup trucks became suspicious. At times even girl scouts on bicycles looked ominous.

Then the Anthrax hit. Not anywhere near here, of course. But it might as well have infected my whole town. I went online and contemplated purchasing Cipro (or, it turns out, pills that say "Sip pro". I purchased these carbon masks that were basically surgical masks "guaranteed" to give you 5 minutes in a building that was under biological or chemical attack. I thought I had anthrax for 3 solid months. I even contemplated moving to Canada.

This is all embarassing looking back on it now. I never realised just how selfish I can be some times. It wasn't bad enough that 3000 people died and a dozen got anthrax. I had to make it about me.

I have no point to this. Only observations. Its like I'm working a 12-step program and this is my inventory. My name is Dave, and I'm a hypochondriac.