My hypochondria has increased by approximately 100% in 2Q07. Last quarter I had approximately 0 episodes of being a spaz. This quarter I've had exactly 2 episodes. OK. Mathematically that's more than 100%. Its actually infinitely more. However, I can't find that key on my keyboard. You know, the one for the symbol that looks like an 8 tripped and fell down.
The second one occurred the other day. I got in my car after work and noticed something on my thumb nail that looked like a brownish stain. Like any normal human I immediately stuck my thumb in my mouth to clean it off (assuming it was chocolate). It tasted like blood. I thought "hmm, that's weird". I then began checking frantically for blood. Looking in the mirror I noticed that the gum (gums?) over one of my teeth was bleeding. Uh oh. I immediately go into differential diagnosis mode. For those of you unfamiliar with this process allow me to outline it:
Bleeding gums - spontaneous bleeding - immediate death
Now the "how I die" was irrelevant. Obviously since I had spontaneously bled I was having some sort of bleeding disorder caused by either cancer, high blood pressure, or the aspirin I took that morning (the baby aspirin I've taken for 4 years).
I freaked out for quite some time. It eventually stopped bleeding but I didn't stop thinking about it. Then it occurred to me. if it stopped bleeding its not a bleeding disorder. On closer inspection I can see where I had obviously used my thumb (remember the blood?) to pick something out of my teeth and caused it to bleed.
Of course, this means I have gingivitis. I'm sure if I looked this up it would lead straight to cancer.
The second one occurred the other day. I got in my car after work and noticed something on my thumb nail that looked like a brownish stain. Like any normal human I immediately stuck my thumb in my mouth to clean it off (assuming it was chocolate). It tasted like blood. I thought "hmm, that's weird". I then began checking frantically for blood. Looking in the mirror I noticed that the gum (gums?) over one of my teeth was bleeding. Uh oh. I immediately go into differential diagnosis mode. For those of you unfamiliar with this process allow me to outline it:
Bleeding gums - spontaneous bleeding - immediate death
Now the "how I die" was irrelevant. Obviously since I had spontaneously bled I was having some sort of bleeding disorder caused by either cancer, high blood pressure, or the aspirin I took that morning (the baby aspirin I've taken for 4 years).
I freaked out for quite some time. It eventually stopped bleeding but I didn't stop thinking about it. Then it occurred to me. if it stopped bleeding its not a bleeding disorder. On closer inspection I can see where I had obviously used my thumb (remember the blood?) to pick something out of my teeth and caused it to bleed.
Of course, this means I have gingivitis. I'm sure if I looked this up it would lead straight to cancer.
4 comments:
Has anyone ever DIED of chronic gingivitis?
Wait! Don't tell me. I'd rather NOT know.
Hi dave!
Ooh boy can I relate to this. Last night I accidently poked myself in the eye with the corner of a dryer sheet (mountain fresh). Instead of blinking rapidly and continuing to transfer the clothes to the dryer...my brain immediatly began to think how I'd cope with being blind in one eye. Good luck with the gingivits!
Addie
Ok, you haven't posted in a while and now I am getting worried that something happened to you! I guess you can't have a hypochondriac's blog without fellow hypos jumping to all sorts of erratic and unlikely conclusions. Anyway, hope you are well.
I'm new to your blog... great to hear from someone who has reduced their health crises to that of a normal person. OF COURSE random bleeding is from cancer or something that leads to cancer. Unfortunately, that's how it goes. Thanks for putting your experiences out there.
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