I'm out

As a recent commenter noted, it's been a while since I've written anything. Saying "recent commenter" makes it seem like I get so many of them I have to catalog chronologically. In reality I get a few heart felt posts from a few hard-core readers on a regular basis. And for that, I'm very grateful (and humbled).



Honestly I just haven't had anything to say. There's work, and life, and more work, and it seems like blogging has taken a back seat to my daily routine. Even now as I type I can't really think of anything to say other than things are "going".



I could bore you with the minutia of divorce proceedings or the daily diagnosis but it doesn't make for good reading (or writing). All this is to say that maybe I'll take a sabbatical. Just a short one. I have a doctor's appointment next week that I'll be sure to update you on (6-month checkup, no biggie). But otherwise I might be off line for a few weeks.



I hope you understand. Once things settle down I'll try to get back with the craziness.

The mathmatics of hypochondria

My hypochondria has increased by approximately 100% in 2Q07. Last quarter I had approximately 0 episodes of being a spaz. This quarter I've had exactly 2 episodes. OK. Mathematically that's more than 100%. Its actually infinitely more. However, I can't find that key on my keyboard. You know, the one for the symbol that looks like an 8 tripped and fell down.



The second one occurred the other day. I got in my car after work and noticed something on my thumb nail that looked like a brownish stain. Like any normal human I immediately stuck my thumb in my mouth to clean it off (assuming it was chocolate). It tasted like blood. I thought "hmm, that's weird". I then began checking frantically for blood. Looking in the mirror I noticed that the gum (gums?) over one of my teeth was bleeding. Uh oh. I immediately go into differential diagnosis mode. For those of you unfamiliar with this process allow me to outline it:



Bleeding gums - spontaneous bleeding - immediate death



Now the "how I die" was irrelevant. Obviously since I had spontaneously bled I was having some sort of bleeding disorder caused by either cancer, high blood pressure, or the aspirin I took that morning (the baby aspirin I've taken for 4 years).



I freaked out for quite some time. It eventually stopped bleeding but I didn't stop thinking about it. Then it occurred to me. if it stopped bleeding its not a bleeding disorder. On closer inspection I can see where I had obviously used my thumb (remember the blood?) to pick something out of my teeth and caused it to bleed.



Of course, this means I have gingivitis. I'm sure if I looked this up it would lead straight to cancer.

Body damage

As you may have read before, I take a martial arts class. Its not a particularly nasty one but it has its occasional knocks and bumps. Usually I do OK with these. A bruise here, a finger in the eye there, etc. I've had occasion in the past to have an 'injury' that scared the bejesus out of me. Bejesus, by the way has always made me giggle a little. I don't know why. Its a funny word. But, I digress.



During a test (not mine) last night I attempted to kick a guy. He's a nice guy. Didn't deserve it. But, alas, in martial arts, that's what you do during tests. you beat up on kind undeserving people. He, however, decided he would also kick me at the same time (what did I do to him!?!?!!). This resulted in a collision of shins. Shortly thereafter I had what could only be described as a small dog under my skin on the surface of my shin. It swole (that's a word) to about the size of a mouse. The kind of mouse you use on your computer. Go ahead and set your mouse on your shin. Now, imagine that was under your skin.



Needless to say, I started to freak out. At certain points I went back and forth between the following:

• Ruptured artery
• Compartment Syndrome
• Broken shin bone (I'm sure there's a medical word for that)
• Blood clot traveling to my (insert body part here)

I started icing it right away and the swelling went down. It doesn't really hurt, per se, but I 'notice' that its there regularly. I keep having all these funny feelings in my leg like its going numb (which it isn't) to it tightening (which it doesn't). This has resulted in a couple panic stricken moments but, all in all, I'm dealing.



As I look at it now its fairly flat except that its dented. Yes dented. I have actually dented my body. I wonder if Maaco can fix that?