Whn we last left our super psyco, he was litteraly afraid of itching. This, due in part to a vicious attack by a colony of rabid fire ants with frickin laser beams on their heads.
OK, maybe they didn't have laser beams. They were rabid though, I just know it. You might recall I had a near death experience. By near death, I mean I got hives and went to the hospital. That was the last time I went to this particular place and raced (on a bicycle).
I've told myself for the last month or two that I was just "changing my training schedule". I think on some level I was "scared shitless" and was avoiding this place. I decided I wanted to race there a coupel more times before the season was over so I went last night. Here's how it went.
- Find a parking spot with no grass (cause that's where the ants are)
- Stop the car and immediately open the door and look for ants
- Get out of the car
- Look for ants
- Stoop down even closer to look for ants
- Change clothes while periodically looking for ants
- Feel something crawl on my leg
- Dance like Yosemite Sam was shooting at my feet to shake the "ants"
- Get my bike
- Look for ants
- Get on the bike
- Start to itch and wonder if I was bitten by ants
- Ride around the track at some god-awful speed with 75 people who apparently don't know what "safety" means
- Ride up to my car and within four seconds I do the following:
- Look for ants
- throw my bike in the trunk
- run to the passenger side and jump in
- check for ants
- drive home hoping that that crawling feeling on my leg isn't an ant
- take a shower and remind myself that I'm washing the ants off
- Go to bed and thank God I escaped the ants
- Freak out cause I think I feel an ant
So, as you can see, I've adjusted fairly well... As the ants only occupied 50% of my total brain power I had at least 25% to spare for riding (the other 25% went to standard cancer, aneurism, and heart attack thoughts).
Did I mention there were ants?
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